My friend and I were hanging out in a club,it was a weekend and definitely girls had to catch up and talk. Boy stories, who was dating who, and who was getting married. In short drama and juice was part of the menu. Two well dressed ladies walked in.One ordered a scotch and as if to drown all her frustrations,she took the scotch in one big gulp.They started talking and my ears couldn’t help buh wander off.
“….maaaahn..I tell you Zuhura,the man was whack. His performance in bed is zero.Other than his pretty face and pretty smile he has nothing to offer. His brother down there is as dead as a dry log.” This was followed by a hearty laughter from the other girl who was called Cynthia as I had learnt earlier. and their voices faded into the loud music.
These conversations are far too common in our streets.Its not the first time that I hear a pretty boy gave a girl whack sex.It’s not an issue of hitting the wrong hole or an enjaculation that was not anticipated,these people are downright bad at it.
Most of the time a girl would feel honour or some kind of superiority to date a pretty boy. My sister don’t do it.Don’t try it ,save yourself the disappointment and the embarrassment.You know those luminarc plates and cups that your mother kept so neatly on the cup board Buh you never got to use them until you moved to your own place,well that’s the definition of a pretty-boy.They are just there as a trophy to be stared at and when they get dust they are polished and returned back,back to the cup board. They are fragile; like an expensive piece of art or pottery, but their functionality is zilch. And the most serious cases are the pretty men who know they are pretty.
If the pretty boy lane is how you want to go first and foremost I offer my deepest sympathies secondly and the most important you have to be psychologically ready to take control of his “brother ” down there,like literally.Baby girl there will be no pampering for you. His job is just to lie there and worry about his missed gym appointments,if the weights he is lifting are giving him the chest that he wants. Don’t even dream of getting cunningulus from these guys.They didn’t apply lip balm on their lips to dig down on your hairy uuumh..you know what.
A friend of mine (Obat ) argues that bad sex is a contribution of both partners and we shouldn’t consider an individual’s shortcomings.But come on these pretty boys are selfish,self centered. They think that them being pretty launches love making half the way.So its up to their partners to walk their way on the other half. Anyway you shouldn’t complain, its a privilege to get it on with a pretty boy. After all you were posting all over social media you for seeing beautiful kids if they took after their father.
I made myself a rule, I never date pretty men (no offence to my exes). I have heard enough stories and had an equal share of experiences myself to know that pretty men are a no-go zone.
So Ladies, most of you that want toe-curling,back aching, neck twisting orgasms, I know and I feel you.So kindly do yourself a favour and stick with the not-so-good-looking, vertically-challenged men .They would walk to hell,heaven and back just to please you how you want and as long as you want to be pleased.